multiplying like rabbits

... because they are rabbits. Living in a new 'hood in the hills overlooking Las Vegas, we're no strangers to wild animals. Each evening, as the summer sun sets, little bats swoop in the skies above our house, quail run about the bushes, roadrunners run down the street and, luckily only on rare occasions, a coyote is spotted in the darkness of night. We know why the coyotes are here -- it's all those little rabbits! I'm sure they make for a tasty buffet for those coyotes.

What started out as a few cute little cotton-tailed bunny rabbits in our bushes and hopping along the sidewalks and in the grass, has blossomed into a rather large, and still growing, colony of rabbits in a very short amount of time. After all, rabbits do have a reputation for their promiscuity and resulting baby booms. I've seen a lot of babies lately, who will undoubtedly grow to be horny teenagers in the matter of months.

Z-Dub loves those little rabbits. During our evening walks he often counts how many he spots. He used to see one of two, now it's about a dozen at a time. He loves to try to get up close before they dart off.

So why does it appear that I'm complaining about these little harmless animals. Well, I have a few -- first, I hate avoiding their poop pellets during walks; second, the more bunnies, the more coyotes. I think they like to eat little dogs (watch out Lola) and little kids (watch out Z-Dub); and finally, you already know of my issues with two cartoon rabbits. It's like they're f%&king with me.

daredevil

The Deuce started crawling just last week. This week he started pulling himself up to a standing position while carefully holding onto anything to keep his balance. And, just yesterday, without any assistance at all, this is what he decided to do:

HE'S ONLY EIGHT MONTHS OLD!!! Of course, I wasn't smiling like him. He's going to fall and break his head. And, as you might expect, its all he wants to do now.

ten excuses

Here are the ten excuses Z-Dub tried to not go to bed last night...

1. "I heard a noise...it was a dinosaur. I'm scared.

2. "The fan is to noisy."

3. "I have to poop."

4. "The itsy, bitsy spider went up the water spout."

5. "I have to pee."

6. "I want a granola bar."

7. "I want to sleep with you and mommy."

8. "I'm itchy."

9. "I'm cold."

10. "I don't want to go to school tomorrow, so I don't have to go to sleep yet."

Three-year-olds!!!!

death to max & ruby

I mean it. I absolutely hate those little hair-brained rabbits. Unfortunately, every time you ask Z-Dub what he'd like to watch on television, his reply is "Max & Ruby."

For some reason we can't break him of his obsession. And I don't understand it either. Every episode is the same. That bossy bitch Ruby is hell-bent on doing something or getting something and little Max is always interrupting. Although, at the end of every episode it turns out that Ruby was in the wrong and Max was in the right. It's probably a good message about how being bossy and single-minded can backfire, but that's beside the point. It's just too annoyingly wholesome for me.

Also, where in the hell are their parents? Seriously, these two little hares live on their own. They have no adult supervision except for when Ruby's "bunny scout leader" or their grandma stops by the house for a visit. Other than that it's young Ruby caring for her toddler brother Max. No wonder she's bossy, she's got too much responsibility. And, since when do rabbits live in houses?

Personally, I prefer when Z-Dub watches Phineas & Ferb. It even entertains me. Who doesn't love a little summer vacation angst?

It's kind of funny how Z-Dub's cartoon tastes have evolved. He went from Backyardigans to Caillou to Little Einsteins to Wow Wow Wubbzy to Max & Ruby. He's getting onboard with Phineas & Ferb, and he's caught onto Bernstein Bears lately too. Who know's what'll be next. Perhaps Hung on HBO. He is, after all, fascinated with his "pitoy" (penis).

it was just a leap

It all started with a leap. It wasn't from afar, but it was high and, with gravity in complete control, it was powerful.

I was sitting on the floor playing with The Deuce. He was smiling, laughing and playing with his toys. The Sudden impact on my head and neck sent shock waves through my body as I gasped in pain. Z-Dub, with a grin on his face, decided it would be funny to fly like Superman from the top of the sofa to my seemingly strong body. Only problem is he miscalculated his trajectory and landed where great damage can be done. And boy did he cause some damage.

For the first two days I could hardly move my neck left or right. The headache at the base, where my head connects to my spine, was excruciating. It lasted for days. Even during our vacation in San Diego my head was throbbing. Tylenol was my savior.

Then last week the flu emerged with a vengeance. One of the symptoms as I was bedridden was body aches. The kind that make any and all positions uncomfortable. I was in a miserable state of being. As the flu subsided I thought I was going to be okay. Then suddenly on Thursday a sharp pain started in the middle of my back. It was so bad that even the slightest movement sent me to the floor. Even if I took a deep breath in the pain was unbearable. I went to urgent care and was given a shot of Percocet, which did little to ease my extreme discomfort. The doctor gave me a prescription for Percocet pills and Valium and said to get some rest. His answer to what was going on was completely unsatifactory. I didn't want to mask the pain, I wanted to know what the hell was happening and how to fix it.

On Friday I waddled into a Chiropractor's office for the first time in my life. I've never had an issue with back pain, so there was never a need to see one. I was a bit scared to go.

I was thoroughly examined and X-rays were taken. And, alas, they found the problem. Apparently I now have a compression injury to two vertebrae. They said the injury was probably caused years ago and then Z-Dub's Superman stunt exacerbated it, causing the ligaments to slip out of whack in my back. They also found that I have a slight twist in the middle of my spine, which makes me more prone to injury. They also found a congenital defect where I'm actually missing on T-vertebra, but I have an extra lumbar vertebra. That's weird, but really isn't a problem.

And my neck - that's a whole other issue. Z-Dub clearly did some damage. Instead of a slight crescent curvature that a normal neck has, mine now resembles an "s." To put it simple, it's "effed" up.

Since Friday I've been receiving intense physiotherapy at the Chiropractor's office and it's done wonders to help moving me again. My pain has subsided greatly - probably about 85 percent. I can actually move without dropping to the floor in pain. I'm going to continue therapy a few days a week for the next month or two to mostly correct everything, but in the meantime, I suddenly feel much older than my 34 years. I'm also worried about injuring myself again. Will I be able to be active? Or will I be resigned to be "the guy on the sidelines?" I don't want to be that guy, but only time will tell.

a milestone on video

the funky crawler

The Deuce started crawling on Wednesday. He was very unsteady at first. Even a bit apprehensive as he scooted forwarded one hand and knee at a time. However, in the matter of a day, he found his courage and, with a grin on his face, began a new chapter in his life -- a chapter of independent exploration. Now he's quick and almost stealth-like in his travels. One second he's in the middle of the living room and the next second he's under the kitchen table. One second he's playing with toys on the floor in the middle of our bedroom and the next second he's in our bathroom with a big smile on his face as if to say, "hey look...I found you!"

Today we are more vigilant around the stairs and about what we place in arms reach of our little creeping creature.

He also started doing a little dance this week. It's a totally funkedelic head bob thing. Yeah, he's cool.

Oh, that reminds me, he's eight months old today. He's going to be walking before we know it. Then he'll really be able to get his groove on.

oink...

It has been a miserable few days in the house. After barely surviving the Vegas heat on Sunday, in the evening I felt like I got hit by a freight train. I thought it was the heat at first, but I now realize that it was obviously my illness emerging.

On Monday I went to work in a somewhat incoherent state, which got worse as the morning wore on. Finally, at around 11 a.m., barely able to walk and talk, I went straight to urgent care. I had a fever, malaise, headache, etc. After a quick examination, it was determined that I have flu. They ran a test to see if I have the swine kind, but the results won't be available for some days. Although, if whether it's swine flu or the regular flu, it's still flu.

I was prescribed Tamiflu and some medicine for the body aches and have been in bed since Monday. Today, I feel about 75 percent better than I felt on Sunday night. I'm hoping some more rest today will get me back on my feet and back to work tomorrow. I hate being home sick. There's nothing to do during my awake time. Daytime television SUCKS! It's nothing but court and talk programs and soap operas. I ended up watching some programs on Hulu.com to keep my sanity.

I also miss the kids. I haven't seen them in two days because I've been quarantined by HotMomma. She even took the kids to her mom's house and stayed there last night. We don't want the kids to contract this flu. That would be horrible to deal with.

I'm feeling sleepy now...back to bed for rest.

in love...

Yes, I'm in love. I'm in love with this:

And I haven't even met her yet. I ordered her online like a Russian bride. Except what I ordered is much better. She speaks my language. She'll be delivered next week.

The wait for delivery is killing me. I'm giddy with anticipation. I can't wait to undress unwrap her and run my fingers along her smooth, soft metallic body.

Guys and their technology...there's no love like it in the world. Sorry HotMomma.

creative discipline

We've learned quickly that the "Terrible Twos" were a cakewalk compared to the "Treacherous Threes." Not only is Z-Dub full of what appears to be super-human energy and spunk, he knows how to back talk like a true master artist. He also loves testing our parental authority.

Lately, we've been challenged when it comes to discipline. While "time outs" and threats of "if you don't stop, you're not getting any dessert" or "if you do that one more time the police are going to take away all of your toys" work most of the time, he's getting a little too savvy for them.

It's time to get creative and I think I have a great idea -- Boot Camp-style discipline. We're talking push-ups, laps, etc. I've taught Z-Dub how to do push-ups and he can pull off about three in a row. If he's acting up and fails to heed the complimentary warnings, I can just say "drop and give me three!" or "you have to do one lap to that house down the street and back. And don't let me catch you walking. I want to see some speed!" The beauty of this type of discipline is that it can be employed virtually anywhere. And as an added bonus, he'll be extra fit.

I don't think this type of discipline is cruel either. After all, it's just exercise. The only risk I would probably run into is Z-Dub growing up to hate exercise. He may associate it with a negative and never want to exercise when he gets older, becoming a resentful, lazy, fat slob. Hmmmm....I guess I have to think this through a little bit more.

What are your creative approaches to discipline? Have they worked?

when nature calls

Z-Dub is such a boy. To prove it, he has developed quite an interest in whipping out his pitoy (Filipino slang for penis) outdoors to pee in rocks and bushes. It doesn't matter where we're at -- the mall, park, front yard, etc. -- he rather water the plants than go inside and use the toilet.

Of course, being the good parents we are, we've quashed his new peeing desire, with exception to La Jolla Cove during our vacation last week. The restroom was simply too far and the Pacific ocean was just too cold, so the best place for him to relieve himself was a large bush at the top of the cliff. And that he did, twice. I'm just hoping he doesn't decide to do it in the playground at school next week. That would be embarrassing. Could you imagine the note sent home from his teacher?

Meanwhile...check out The Deuce's new thing.

i'm back

Wow, it's been a long time since I updated the blog. The past few weeks have been a bit of a blur. Not only had I a lot to do at work, followed by a two week vacation, but I was also having some health issues checked out. Luckily, all is okay with me and it's time to get back into the swing of things. I've neglected my blog so much that I probably don't have any loyal readers anymore. I hope to redeem myself in the coming weeks with new posts and a renewed effort to read everyone else's great posts.

Of course, it's very late...actually, now that I just looked at the clock, it's very early. So instead of a full blown post, I'll leave you with this video of our vacation earlier this week. As you'll see, the family had a great time. We stayed at the Catamaran Beach Resort and Spa on Mission Bay. It was nice to escape the heat of Las Vegas.

To all of our American readers, Happy 4th of July. To our Brit friends, no hard feelings, of course.