a vegasdad rant

Why, oh, why does Z-Dub all of a sudden not want to sleep at night? I'm not kidding when I say he gets out of bed a minimum of 15 times a night for various reasons. This has been going on for about two weeks now and it's annoying the crap out of me. We've tried preventing him from napping during the day. We've even tried keeping him up later in the evening. All of our approaches to resolve this new bedtime ritual have failed miserably. It's frickin' annoying. It's interrupting "Daddy and Mommy time."

Now, changing the subject completely, why would Discovery Channel think it's smart to air "Shark Week" in the middle of summer when throngs of vacationers are visiting beaches across the country? Talk about scaring us out of the water. Luckily, we're in Las Vegas and the only real scary creatures at our beaches -- sand bottom hotel/resort pools -- are overweight, old and hairy Eurotourists who think it's fashionable to wear speedos. Having one of them bend over in front of you can cause severe illness and possibly death. That's why we prefer the more private pool cabanas. They also make us feel like rock stars.

Finally, I'm annoyed with myself for not finding more time to update this blog. A lot of it has to do with my hectic schedule lately. Also, the kids have been wacko lately. Now that The Deuce is mobile, it seems that all we do is try to prevent him from hurting himself. Speaking of The Deuce, he has one voracious appetite. I thought Z-Dub was going to eat us to the poor house, but we're quickly realizing that our more plump infant is even more of a pig. It's no wonder he's only 14 lbs. lighter than his three-year-old brother.

That's all.

multiplying like rabbits

... because they are rabbits. Living in a new 'hood in the hills overlooking Las Vegas, we're no strangers to wild animals. Each evening, as the summer sun sets, little bats swoop in the skies above our house, quail run about the bushes, roadrunners run down the street and, luckily only on rare occasions, a coyote is spotted in the darkness of night. We know why the coyotes are here -- it's all those little rabbits! I'm sure they make for a tasty buffet for those coyotes.

What started out as a few cute little cotton-tailed bunny rabbits in our bushes and hopping along the sidewalks and in the grass, has blossomed into a rather large, and still growing, colony of rabbits in a very short amount of time. After all, rabbits do have a reputation for their promiscuity and resulting baby booms. I've seen a lot of babies lately, who will undoubtedly grow to be horny teenagers in the matter of months.

Z-Dub loves those little rabbits. During our evening walks he often counts how many he spots. He used to see one of two, now it's about a dozen at a time. He loves to try to get up close before they dart off.

So why does it appear that I'm complaining about these little harmless animals. Well, I have a few -- first, I hate avoiding their poop pellets during walks; second, the more bunnies, the more coyotes. I think they like to eat little dogs (watch out Lola) and little kids (watch out Z-Dub); and finally, you already know of my issues with two cartoon rabbits. It's like they're f%&king with me.

it was just a leap

It all started with a leap. It wasn't from afar, but it was high and, with gravity in complete control, it was powerful.

I was sitting on the floor playing with The Deuce. He was smiling, laughing and playing with his toys. The Sudden impact on my head and neck sent shock waves through my body as I gasped in pain. Z-Dub, with a grin on his face, decided it would be funny to fly like Superman from the top of the sofa to my seemingly strong body. Only problem is he miscalculated his trajectory and landed where great damage can be done. And boy did he cause some damage.

For the first two days I could hardly move my neck left or right. The headache at the base, where my head connects to my spine, was excruciating. It lasted for days. Even during our vacation in San Diego my head was throbbing. Tylenol was my savior.

Then last week the flu emerged with a vengeance. One of the symptoms as I was bedridden was body aches. The kind that make any and all positions uncomfortable. I was in a miserable state of being. As the flu subsided I thought I was going to be okay. Then suddenly on Thursday a sharp pain started in the middle of my back. It was so bad that even the slightest movement sent me to the floor. Even if I took a deep breath in the pain was unbearable. I went to urgent care and was given a shot of Percocet, which did little to ease my extreme discomfort. The doctor gave me a prescription for Percocet pills and Valium and said to get some rest. His answer to what was going on was completely unsatifactory. I didn't want to mask the pain, I wanted to know what the hell was happening and how to fix it.

On Friday I waddled into a Chiropractor's office for the first time in my life. I've never had an issue with back pain, so there was never a need to see one. I was a bit scared to go.

I was thoroughly examined and X-rays were taken. And, alas, they found the problem. Apparently I now have a compression injury to two vertebrae. They said the injury was probably caused years ago and then Z-Dub's Superman stunt exacerbated it, causing the ligaments to slip out of whack in my back. They also found that I have a slight twist in the middle of my spine, which makes me more prone to injury. They also found a congenital defect where I'm actually missing on T-vertebra, but I have an extra lumbar vertebra. That's weird, but really isn't a problem.

And my neck - that's a whole other issue. Z-Dub clearly did some damage. Instead of a slight crescent curvature that a normal neck has, mine now resembles an "s." To put it simple, it's "effed" up.

Since Friday I've been receiving intense physiotherapy at the Chiropractor's office and it's done wonders to help moving me again. My pain has subsided greatly - probably about 85 percent. I can actually move without dropping to the floor in pain. I'm going to continue therapy a few days a week for the next month or two to mostly correct everything, but in the meantime, I suddenly feel much older than my 34 years. I'm also worried about injuring myself again. Will I be able to be active? Or will I be resigned to be "the guy on the sidelines?" I don't want to be that guy, but only time will tell.

squeaky boy

Something strange has happened to our Z-Dub's voice since his tonsil surgery on Saturday. He has suddenly become squeaky and, dare I say, kind of girlie. At first we chalked it up to a post-surgery attempt to get attention and sympathy. It's been almost a week and he still has this squeaky little mouse voice, so now I'm concerned. So much so that I did a little research online.

I was shocked to discover that tonsillectomy can in fact cause both temporary and permanent change to voice pitch. Our doctor never discussed or even mentioned this to us before or after surgery. According to the experts all over the Internets, the causes vary and include:

1. If they were large, removal of the tonsils can change the resonance of  speech (voice would be the same as that's produced by the larynx). 
2. If the adenoids were removed as well as the tonsils (which is what Z-Dub went through), then there could be some velopharyngeal incompetence and hypernasality.
   
3. Muscle tension dysphonia. 
4. Vocal cord damage from intubation injury. 

Whatever the cause, I'm fine with the temporary change as we can deal with our little mouse for a while longer. I read somewhere that it can take up to 12 weeks to go back to normal. However, a permanent change would be a little too hard to swallow, especially if he continues to sound like a eunuch.

blahhhh!

Today I took the day off from work because family is visiting. Instead of having a relaxing time I ended up having a busier work day than if I was in the office. I was putting out fires all over the place, all over the phone. I'm exhausted. The result, of course, is a sore throat, laryngitis and a not-so-good feeling. I think I've come down with something. It sucks. I think I'll sleep now.

burn

My stepmother was in town visiting this weekend. She was shopping for houses here in Las Vegas as she plans to relocate from neighboring California in the not-to-distant future. She loves our neighborhood, so she stopped by the sales office and toured a few model homes and picked up a price sheet. When she brought the sales figures back to show us I almost had a frickin' heart attack.

Our house, the one we bought one year ago next week, is now selling for $100,000 less than what we bought it for. To make matters worse, houses that are double and even triple the size of our's, houses that HotMomma really, really wanted, but we couldn't afford at the time, are now selling for less than what we bought our's for. This doesn't make HotMomma happy. She's been complaining (every day) about how cramped we are with the addition of The Deuce.

Of course, I'd love to take advantage of the new low prices on the bigger houses, but I obviously can't sell our's for a long, long time. I can keep our current house and buy an additional one, but we don't have enough cash saved up to do that right now.

THIS SUCKS!!!! STUPID ECONOMY!!!!

But, hey, at least we have a roof over our head.

garbage can bandit strikes

This morning Las Vegas law enforcement authorities revealed that a local celebrity has fallen victim to the Garbage Can Bandit. The still unknown perpetrator has wreaked havoc on local neighborhoods over the past few weeks, which has local residents fearing for their sanitation.

According to Detective Herman Odorwitz, chief investigator with Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department’s Priority Victims Division, the incident took place Saturday when blogger VegasDad placed his garbage receptacle on the curb in front of his estate. Later, when he returned to retrieve it, the receptacle was nowhere to be found. Sensing something amiss, VegasDad immediately contacted police.

“That [expletive] bandit stole my [expletive] trash can. I just can’t believe the bandit would strike in my neighborhood. It's in the hills. What the [expletive]?” said a bewildered VegasDad in newly released 911 transcripts. “Now I have no idea where I’m going to discard my [expletive] uneaten caviar and empty Starbucks cups.”

According to an unidentified witness, it appeared that VegasDad was targeted because of his celebrity. However, Odorwitz says that claim appears to be unsubstantiated at this point in the investigation.

“We’ve gotten a lot of calls on our special tip line and we’re following up on every lead,” said Odorwitz. “We urge anyone who saw or knows anything about this heinous crime to call in. We can use the help.”

Odorwitz also made a plea to the local community to avoid VegasDad's neighborhood. Since reports of the theft have been made public throngs of onlookers have converged in the area to catch a glimpse of the celebrity victim.

"We need to respect VegasDad's and his family's privacy as they cope with their loss," said Odorwitz. "There are paparazzi and groupies all over the place today, which is creating a driving hazard and disrupting the neighbors."

A Z-list celebrity, VegasDad rose to fame a three years ago when he made his mark in the blogging world by exploiting his family. His first blog, rothfamilyadventures.com, was canceled in May 2008. The following month, the resilient blogger was cast in ivegasfamily.com where he has received critical acclaim.

Rumors of impending book, movie and television deals inked by the star have been making headlines in gossip magazines over the past few months. There’s no word yet on how Saturday’s tragedy will impact his future projects.

food thief

Z-Dub is always stealing food off my plate. Even when he has the same exact food on his plate, he's more interested in mine than his. To keep his little fingers out of my food, lately I've employed a new strategy focused on convincing him that his food is way better than mine.

I started telling Z-Dub that the food on my plate is poop. Yep, poop. Even if it looks like his, smells like his, and I'm eating it, I still tell him its poop and its yucky.

"Ewwwwhhhh! Daddy's eating poop," he yells out.

But lately this new strategy has started to fail me, especially since he'll eat basically anything.

I think I'll have to explore an even newer strategy. Perhaps something more simple. 

Maybe not sitting next to him at the table will be the best way to deal with his food thievery.

pissin' all over the place

After pissing on the floor six times this morning, Z-Dub finally peed in the toilet for the first time at home. This accomplishment was greeted with loud, roaring cheers, high-fives and a reward of a sticker and an M&M candy. There were promises of more such gifts if this feat is accomplished again. Shortly afterwards he proceeded to pee on the floor again and laugh about it. I think he was just f%#king with us earlier when he actually peed where he was supposed to pee.

Oh well. It was worth a try.

As for Z-Jay, he's six weeks old today and has reached a new level of infant development. He now wants to be held ALL THE TIME. He's not happy in the swing or the bouncy chair. He's only happy in Mommy or Daddy's arms or in the baby carrier. It's hard to do anything when you have an infant attached to you at all times, so we're not going to crack. It doesn't hurt him to cry a little. It's good for lung development. Perhaps he'll foster a great singing voice or something.

And finally, the Z-Dub and Z-Jay thing is a little confusing for me, so I think it's safe to assume it is for our readers as well. Therefore, for the third time, Z-Jay's blog name is hereby changed. From this point forward he will be referred to as Deuce. This is defined as "the second" of our children and not "shit" as the word is commonly used in slang.

Now I know I've been absent from reading the other great blogs in my reader for the past week or so, but we've been busy with the holidays. So I plan to catch up real soon.

get out of my head!!!

Thanks to Z-Dub's cartoon obsession, I can't get this damned theme song out of my freakin' head.



I don't know why he likes them. They're such pretentious nerds.

chronicles of regression and a milestone

We knew it would happen. You know what we're talking about. The inevitable regression of a two-year-old when his world is suddenly turned upside down by the arrival of a new sibling. In Z-Dub's case, the regressive behavior was a little slow to emerge. But it's here now and it's annoying as hell.

The most notable is the bedtime battle we've experienced over the past few nights. It's rather frustrating because he's been great at going to bed in his own bed, in his own room and on his own for the past few months. Now all of a sudden it's a long, drawn out process filled with defiance and, eventually, tears. He's tried everything to get out of going to bed, from hurting body parts to being scared of monsters. These were never issues before. Last night he was tucked in at 9 p.m. and was out of bed pleading, whining and crying more times than I can count. He didn't actually fall asleep until about 11 p.m. And he was so tired the entire time.

After witnessing Z-Jay's feedings, Z-Dub is now insistent that we hold his sippy cup in his mouth while he drinks so as to copy his little brothers feeding style. We're steadfast in our refusal to play along with this game. We're not even going to go there.

During the day, Z-Dub is disobedient, whiny, clingy and the master of "back talk." It's all expected and we're trying to work through these behaviors by giving him as much attention as humanly possible. We're also giving him an active role in helping take care of his brother, which we think is helping. Now if he'd quit trying to pick up and carry his little bro or head butt him that would ease some of our stress.

Now, all of this, along with HotMomma's mastitis , is the reason I haven't been able to update everyday like I normally do. It's also why I've neglected my feed reader once again. I promise to catch up soon. I also really, really need to write another article for UpTake . Where will I find the time? As I write this, Z-Dub is trying to climb up on my lap. He's always pushing buttons. He put our computer into hibernate twice earlier when we were on Skype with my parents in North Carolina.

But it's hard to get angry at a beautiful kid like this:

And, providing equal opportunity for "show off," here's Z-Jay today:

Also, yesterday I gave Z-Dub our camera and let him have some fun. It sure kept him busy for quite a while. Here's some of the pics he took. Let's just say he needs to master his craft a little bit more before declaring his professional status as a photographer.

Z-Dub's cars and a sock.

Z-Dub's foot.

Bathroom cabinets.

Chi-Lo hiding from him under the bed.

The upstairs television.

Daddy.

On a final note, six years ago today HotMomma and I walked down the aisle in holy matrimony. While we can't celebrate this milestone at The Ritz-Carlton, Lake Las Vegas this year as we have the past two years, a day with our growing family is rewarding enough.

Happy Anniversary to my beautiful and caring wife. I can't imagine life without you!!!!

you can change your name, but you're still the same

Our local power company recently decided to change its name and relaunch itself with an expensive marketing campaign that included television, radio and print advertising. It was really unnecessary since they're the only residential provider of power in our entire region. Now they've gone to the Utilities Commission and requested an 18 percent increase in residential power bills. WTF? Perhaps if they didn't spend enormous amounts of money giving themselves a new name and a snazzy new look, we wouldn't have to pay more. BASTARDS!!!

to cut, or not to cut?

We've introduced a second son into the world and now we struggle with decision of whether to circumcise or not circumcise him. I know the practice of circumcision can stir contentious debate, so I expect a lot of passionate comments from both sides. Luckily, we're open to examining all of the "facts" before moving forward.

For the record, Z-Dub was circumcised in an Arizona hospital just a day after birth. It was performed by an experienced pediatrician and it was done before we took him home. It was great because the nurses and doctors were able to keep an eye on his naughty bit to make sure there was no infection and healing was progressing well. And thankfully, he had no adverse results from the ritual, or at least none that we know of.

Here in Nevada the insurance companies don't allow circumcisions to be performed in the hospital. Instead you have to take the baby to the doctor's office after being discharged. It's because of the greed of insurance companies. Performing the procedure in a doctor's office is far less expensive than doing it in a hospital. At least, that's what the folks at the hospital told me. Interestingly, there are a lot of insurance companies now not covering circumcisions as they are now classifying them as cosmetic and, therefore, not a medical necessity.

If we decide to move forward with circumcising Z-Jay we have to take him to his doctor in the next couple of weeks. Now that he's more than a week old we're having reservations about having it done. Will it be more traumatic at this later age? Is a doctor's office the right place for such a procedure? Does having the procedure at a doctor's office increase risks of infection or complications? And, is circumcision necessary? These are just a few questions we've struggled with. Unfortunately, we have to make a decision soon. We only have a month. If we wait longer, it's no longer a procedure the pediatrician can perform. Instead, it becomes a general surgery situation. It's sickening to think of it that way.

If we decide not to do it, will it be weird to have one son circumcised and the other not? Will the difference in appearance create body image issues later in life? We obviously can't answer these questions now, but they are issues we're concerned about.

HotMomma's sister was telling us about an acquaintance that got married to a guy that was not circumcised. She apparently was okay with his uncut tool until after the wedding. She was grossed out by it and demanded that he get a circumcision. And at the age of 28 he did just that. Of course, I think this guy's wife is incredibly selfish. She knew what she was getting. I can't believe the guy went through with it. I've heard of other people going through similar issues. We don't want Z-Jay to be subjected to the same thing. 

We have a lot of deliberating to do this holiday.

a week in disarray

My office was moved from one building to another this week. Actually, the process started on Election Day and wasn't fully completed until today. Having little internet access all day all week has been frustrating, but I'm up and running now. I have a lot of catching up to do with work. I also need to complete a post for Uptake.com. I wrote one today, so hopefully I can get it up tomorrow. I'm hoping I can get a real post up here as well.

For now, that's all I got.

mr. independent

The annual reign of Daylight Savings Time has come to an end. For the next several months there will be no more after work jaunts outdoors with the sun still shining. We'll be sequestered indoors during the semi-cold winter months as we eagerly wait for the early evening sun to fill the sky with light once again.

Looking at the bright side, at least my mornings are not quite as dark, which sure makes getting out of bed for work a lot easier.

I remember back in the day (pre-kid) having to turn the clocks back in the fall was a great thing because you basically gain a full hour. That extra hour made for a great bonus hour of sleep. When you have a toddler that bonus becomes null and void. Instead of getting that extra hour of sleep, the kid just wakes up an hour earlier. It happened to us yesterday, but we lucked out. Actually, I'm kind of shocked of what Z-Dub did.

I heard the pitter patter of his little feet at about 6 a.m. I did not open my eyes, but just listened as Z-Dub came into our room. He did not say anything, he just stood there quietly for a few moments. The pitter patter headed out of the room and into the loft where I heard the door to the mini refrigerator open and then close. Then there was silence. After about 10 minutes I decided to get up and check on Z-Dub. I walked down the hall and peaked into his room. There he was in his bed, drinking milk from his newly acquired sippy cup and playing with his stuffed animals. Relieved that he was safe and not getting into anything he shouldn't be into to, I slowly and quietly crept away from his door and went back to bed.

It's not too often that a toddler of Z-Dub's age will act in such an independent manner. It actually made us very proud and thankful as we got to take advantage of another half hour or so of coveted sleep. It would have been longer if HotMomma's father didn't accidently set off the security alarm at their house and the monitoring company didn't call my cell phone and then our house. So I guess this year it wasn't the kid that made waste of our extra hour, it was a false alarm.

ugggghhh

Sometimes I hate Blogger. I was making some adjustments to my Blogroll and now it's completely gone. To make matters worse, the gadget in Blogger that assembles it based on my feed reader isn't reconciling poperly, so I'm having trouble getting it back up. This SUCKS!!!

9:30 a.m. Update - I had to manually copy all of my feeds to create a new blogroll. I think I got everyone. If I missed you, or if you want to be added to my blogroll, please let me know.

here comes the leper

The pain emanating from my severly sunburnt noggin had subsided. In fact, the redness did as well.

That is until this morning.

As I showered large blobs of skin started accumulating on the floor near the drain. My head was peeling like a molting snake. As I observed (and felt) what was going on I began to dread what I might look like when I glance in the mirror after emerging from my cool and relaxing chamber of wetness.

To help the peeling along I came up with a brilliant idiotic plan to use some of HotMomma's expoliating facial cleanser. You know the kind. It has microbeads or something that makes it feel like you're washing with sand. Well that was a really f%#ked up idea. The sting was extremely painful and I think it pissed off my skin.

Now I have large areas of my skin peeled away, revealing still-burnt and pissed off pink skin. To make matters worse, the freshly exposed skins hurts. BAD.

I'm wearing a ball cap today at work. If I reveal my peeling noggin I'm sure to be sent to leper colony.

*And, no I will not be posting any pictures!

---------------------------------------------

In other news....Z-Dub has been SeaWorld obsessed ever since the weekend. Everytime we go to leave the house he asks, "We go to SeaWorld?" When the answer is no, there's hell to pay.

wake up

What's up with alarm clocks that randomly don't sound in the  morning? It happens on ocassion; this morning is not an isolated case. I set the alarm before going to sleep. I actually always double check to make sure it's set at the correct time and that it's on. It's an evening ritual.

Fast forward to morning. The sun slowly rises over Sunrise Mountain (I'm not messing with you. That's what it's called) to the east of the Las Vegas Valley. I'm in a deep sleep and dreaming about adventure and riches that are probably unattainable when I'm awake. Suddenly I jolt up and notice that the room is brighter than usual. I glance at the clock and it's almost 7 a.m. I usually wake at 6:00, but actually 6:09 because of my single hit of the snooze button.

On days like these, what happens is always the same. I start my morning rushed and I feel like I continue like that until the day ends. I'm so not looking forward to today.

As for the clock -- I checked it. It was set. Does it have a mind of it's own? Sometimes when I'm really tired I'll turn it off when it starts making noise and not even realize I did that. However, today HotMomma didn't hear it either. I seriously think it wanted me to sleep. Perhaps it knows something.

the elusive socks

We've searched every drawer, closet, cabinet, toy chest, corner, crack, crevice, the washer and dryer, dirty clothes hamper and even under furniture and yet we still can't find Z-Dub's damned socks. We keep buying them and they keep disappearing. As a result, I have to confess that I sent the kid to school today in the same socks he wore yesterday. I hope his teachers don't notice his stinky feet.

Where in the hell are all of his socks!?! Is some pervert with a toddler foot fetish breaking into the house and stealing them? Is Chi-Lo quietly collecting and burying them in the backyard? Is Z-Dub secretly tossing them out with the garbage?

It's all quite the mystery and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I wonder how much Winnie the Pooh and the Super Sleuths charge for their expert detective services?

a few steps forward and a giant leap backward

A few weeks ago we reached a significant milestone. At least it was significant to us. We finally got Z-Dub falling asleep in his own bed and on his own, like a "big boy." This was thanks to some helpful advice from Busy Dad and Mr. Lady at Stark Raving Dads.

With Z-Dub tucked into his bed, HotMomma and I were finally able to enjoy our evenings without the company of a two year old. This was huge, because prior to that I had to lay down with him each and every night for more than an hour as he fell asleep. It was an annoying routine that needed to be broken, and once we decided to finally take charge and change things success was swift. It was awesome. That is until this past week.

For some unknown reason Z-Dub suddenly won't stay in his bed. Each night I've had to constantly get up over and over and over again to walk him back to his bed, have a quick pep talk, kiss him on the forehead and leave the room. We're talking 20+ times each night and lasting well past 10 p.m. He's used every excuse in the book, including hearing noises, seeing shadows, he poo pooed (although he didn't), he's thirsty, etc. That part is actually kind of funny because of his age. It's amazing how a two year old can think stuff up like that.

But what makes this week's evening events particularly bad is I get to the point where I have to get very stern with him, with a raised voice and threats. It's frustrating and I feel bad because that's not how I want the mood to be before he goes to sleep.

We're hoping this is a brief phase and our evenings will quickly turn back to their still fairly new comfortableness that we've come to enjoy. It's like we're being teased. We got a taste of something good and now it's been taken away.

So now it's Monday, the start of a brand new week. For the sake of my sanity, as well as HotMomma's, I'll be re-reading the post on Stark Raving Dads and experimenting with different tactics and techniques to get us back on track. The game is over Z-Dub!