the art of non-verbal discipline

On Sunday HotMomma has to work in the morning. While in a miserable and sickly state, I was responsible for Z-Dub for five hours, during which time I learned a few things about the art of non-verbal discipline.

Here are four ways to discipline a toddler when you have absolutely no voice due to extreme case of laryngitis:

1. THE LOOK - You know the one -- when your relatively attractive face becomes distorted out of anger and resembles a morphing monster. Eyes bulg, jaw clinches and skin turns red. It's enough to scare the crap out of any two-year-old with mischief on his mind.
2. THE MONSTER GRUNT - I couldn't talk, so why not make some awful sounding monster grunts to express my disapproval of toys being thrown at or near the expensive flat screen HDTV.
3. THE POINTING FINGER - I used it in conjuction with THE LOOK and THE MONSTER GRUNT to order Z-Dub to "come here right now!" or "Stay!"
4. THE PICK UP AND DROP - It's sounds worse than it is. Basically, it was physically picking Z-Dub up and placing him in timeout. Enforcing his several short sentences to solitary confinement also required all of the other tactics listed above.

As much as I enjoyed non-verbal discipline, I can't wait to get my voice back. It's just easier.