Last night I joined Z-Dub in reading the classic Jack and the Beanstalk. Most of us have heard the story, but it wasn't until I read it to Z-Dub that I realized how ridiculously inappropriate the story is for a child. How you may ask? Well, let me tell you.
First, I find it incredibly irresponsible that Jack's widowed mother makes him go to town to trade in their only milk cow for some food. Seems like a short-term solution to a long-term problem. It lacks any forward thinking, or logic for that matter. If you have no food at all, why don't you get a job or grow something? Perhaps you'd even get more out of butchering that cow than trading it in. Equating it to today, it's like trading your car for some quick cash at one of those title loan places. How in the hell are you going to get a job and better your situation if you've traded in your transportation for a quick fix? Not a good lesson.
Second, Jack totally defies his mother's orders and trades their only cow for a few beans from a strange man on the side of the road. Two things are wrong with this with the first being that he didn't listen to his mother. Second, he talked to a stranger and accepted his offer. It's like taking candy from a molester or drugs from a dealer.
Third, after the beans grow up into a giant stalk reaching into the clouds, Jack climbs up upon a castle that's home to a giant. The giant says, "Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!?? I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he 'live, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread." It's a little gruesome for little kids, but it is a giant and Jack did break into his castle, so who can blame him. But after hiding out like a crafty cat burglar and avoiding being eaten by the giant Jack steals his gold egg laying hen and heads home to enjoy his new found riches. So, it's okay to break into a strangers home and steal?
Fourth, getting greedy Jack goes back up the beanstalk and to the giant's castle to steal again. The second time it was a magic harp. But Jack gets caught by the giant who chases him down that stalk to reclaim his stuff. To "get away with it," Jack uses an axe to quickly knock down the stalk, resulting in the poor giant plunging to his death. Apparently the lesson learned is when you get caught committing a petty crime, to avoid punishment you should kill your victim. Nice.I realize this book was an adaptation of the original and may not be as you remember it, but still it's severly lacking in morality. The only things that would make this book even more inappropriate or controversial are:
Jacks mother starts turning tricks to make some quick cash. Jack acts as her pimp.
Jack grows some pot and sells in on a street corner in town. When he gets caught by the police he claims it's "for medicinal purposes." When pressed further he kills the cop to avoid arrest.
Jack and his mother are so hungry they cook up and eat the dead giant's body. I'm sure Andrew Zimmern wouldn't even eat it.
Jack and the giant clear up their differences, and instead of the giant being killed, they fall in love and have a gay wedding in California. It certainly would make it more interesting.
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